December is for endings, Capricorns, and new beginnings

Three days into December and I’m barley understanding what my tree was trying to communicate. I can already sense the crazy looks when you just read that but I interact with nature and animals just as I would with humans because we are all creation, lessons for one another if you will. As my favorite tree who’s branch I often find myself resting upon on beautiful spring and summer days, was beginning to shed its leaves this September, and into the wind it whispered that you have to shed layers to be renewed into the newest version of yourself. I needed to hear that, weather it was coming from my tree or another human because I was still struggling to detach from the labels I used to have for myself, to let go of my old idea of success to be able to define it for myself, but now I get it. I really do. You have let go of old versions to grow into the new version of who you are, you can’t have both. All versions of you are you but you cannot have the same behaviors, thoughts, ect if you’re to change into a new person, so you must let go in order to become the new up leveled version of you. So let go…

Me and my husband began talking about moving to London and a part of me knows this is goodbye for me and Texas for good, a place that has been my home for all of my life. More so saying goodbye to a life that I have come to love and adore makes it all that much harder but I’ve longed for this. Wanted nothing more than to move out of the country and now here it is just as I’m madly in love with my life. The no more having an HEB nearby will definitely be the biggest loss, but I shall persevere.

So often we’re not conscious of the life we’re living until you one day stop from it all and realize you’re fifty, your kids are all grown up and you start to wonder where the time went and weather you made the most of it, all spiraling out of control in an impulse car purchase to dull the pain of returning to the same routine. Luckily for my adhd, my astrological, and astrocratogaph all say I will, need, and must have constant adventure, and so far that is how my life has been. One constant adventure, and I can honestly say I have lived quite a life, but I also approach it with open arms ready to devour every morsel of it.

Even though I’m feeling rose colored glasses about Austin because I know the goodbye is right around the corner, I also know that summers have become almost as unbearable as every out of state influencer moving here, the traffic is enough to compete with LA, and it no longer is like it once was, and I’m just holding onto memories despite how beautiful it is and how much I still adore it, so this too I must shed with the leaves of the falling tree.  I know I need this, the change I mean.  Maybe it’s the Capricorn goat in me but I’ve come to find just when you’re so comfortable with where your life is, that’s when you uproot it all, for some that’s just a jobs, or a new house, but for me it always has to mean a new location and it seems my time has arrived.

There’s something beautiful about a place where no one knows your name, where you can start over and begin again. Maybe just maybe finally being in fashion hub will help me get to where I need to be, at least the constant 11:11 on the clocks at every turn seem to think so. So as I begin this month I do so shaking off the last leaf of doubt and mentally prep for the season 1 of my life. Happy December my Capricorn cuties! Cheerios love!!!

XOXO,

Alvarado