Find Yourself, Find your Style

In my journey of self discovery I have found that a lot of coming home to yourself and the most authentic version of you involves a lot of unlearning. Each person we meet leaves an imprint within us, sometimes big, sometimes small, but with it comes their opinions, thoughts, and beliefs. Some of it is societal conditioning, social acceptance from our peers, amongst other things.

“An unexamined life is not worth living.” -Socrates

The process of coming home to yourself means shedding all the layers that don’t hold true to the soul, but only when we’re ready to examine this without judgment and honestly, will we be able to view the most authentic version of ourselves. I say this because the journey can get arduous and lonely, and the worst part is there is no going back or stopping no matter how much you wish to go back to the ignorance of an unexamined life. When we begin to examine where our wants stem from we’re able to see what need we were trying to fill, and weather that is still a want we have from a place of abundance still or if we’d like to let go or maybe even re frame what that looks like for us now that we’ve met our own needs.

When we’re younger we try to fit in with our classmates by following trends, some of which we may genuinely like to our core, others, swayed by consumerism. As we get older we learn to accommodate to the workplace acceptable attire, a homogeneous of corporate america in puffer vests and button downs. By the time we have the opportunity to dress ourselves we’re already to exhausted to even figure out what to wear much less to find our own style. Style involves using the best of you. In order to do that, one must love oneself unconditionally. Are ya’ll okay? I know that truth was a little harsh, but it had to be said.

In the unbecoming of who you were, you learn to stop looking at yourself from the consumerist lense that taught us to hate every part of who we are in order to sell us the self esteem they built for us out of sand. In radical self love and self acceptance we give ourselves the opportunity to show up authentically without judgment. This does not mean that we don’t put our selves, our actions, and our believes under a microscope but rather it allows us to be honest without the fear of being judged by our harshest critic, the one in the mirror. In being able to be honest with the image in the mirror from a lense of love and acceptance allows us to say I like this part of me, or I want to show this off more, or while I accept these stretch marks and carry them with pride, I’m not a tiger, so for now I’ll leave them out of the limelight.

I have so much love for the younger version of me because that girl was buck wild, and its because of her that I have a lifetime worth of stories but truth be told that version of me didn’t know what her style was. I will say, do I think I have far superior style perhaps for not having fallen pray to trends such as peplum tops, jelly sandals, and crocs? Yes, yes I do. In my early twenties I liked anything low cut, and why shouldn’t I, I have a great set of sweater puppies. Back then I would shop by whatever was in stores that I found to be, in my mind, cute. But back then I was also at odds with anything that wasn’t my chest, so I didn’t wear anything with much confidence, and that was the true crime. The older you get the more compassionate you get for all the younger versions of yourself and how imperfectly perfect you were. Me back then didn’t appreciate what an incredible body I had on my hands, and now that I’ve allowed an evolutionary lifetime of love and self work, I am trying to worship all parts of me, for future me. Trying to leave criticism at the door every day, I no longer try to squeeze myself into anything just because its cute, instead I search for items that flatter my body. I don’t fight myself, I work with all the best parts of me, at times showing more leg or cleavage.

My closet has become a story book. Its become a habit of mine to pick up a piece of clothing to whatever part of the world I travel to because when I wear it the memories that it brings up, also brings the energy of that trip with it, as if embedded in its threads. So if you ever travel to Vietnam, Thailand, India, or Korea get yourself something tailor made, trust me its worth every penny. Artisan pieces have been a recent collection of mine as well. As I have decolonized my mind in recent years I have seemed to have fallen in love with all parts of humanity that reject the industrialization and capitalism inherently. Artisan work is exquisite, its why big retailers often imitate their work or buy it from the artists at a low cost to then retail for hundreds if not thousands. Artisan work is history, it’s unique in the way that you and I are unique, no two are alike, but it also carries with it a durability that industrialization in its pursuit for profits cannot offer. But just as I, as a person, have a facet of multitudes, so does my style. The thirteen year old me deserves to rock platform combat boots and green cargo pants with matrix shades any day of the week, because adult me has money now, and that’s exactly what I do. I give the space to all parts and versions of me to be expressed through clothing.  I’m starting to realize maybe my style is just as chaotic as I am. A combination of the multiple platitudes and magnitudes of my personality and persona, but always leaning in the minimalist style just like me. That’s the beauty about style, is you’re dressing all the best parts of you for you, and its going to be unique to you. So what’s your style?



E. Alvarado